The dictionary defines fatigue as “weariness from bodily or mental exertion” and compassion as “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate suffering.”
Many of us feel fatigue at the end of the day. Having spent hours navigating the daily tasks of life, which may include work, home, family, and friendship. These include activities that may be pleasant to challenging.
Mental fatigue can occur as we set out to complete a work task that requires us to engage with a group of people who may not be on the same page. Now we are negotiating, and sometimes winning, or sometimes conceding. For many, this is what the job is and will be until the end.
Our personal relationships can cause us to feel mental fatigue. Families can be difficult; we don’t always see eye to eye. The existing hierarchy of a family can mean that you are either at the top, middle, or the bottom. Your voice may be drowned out, or you may be the one who everyone counts on to lead the way.
The physical demands of life may be different for each of us. Managing a household, cooking and cleaning. For some, their jobs are physically demanding, involving being on their feet, lifting and carrying heavy objects. Or, as we are learning, even a desk job can be physically demanding; the negative impact of sitting for hours on end is now considered as bad as smoking.
Caring for others happens in our families, friendships, and communities, and for many, in their jobs. There is heavy lifting that comes with caring. Compassion for others, not wanting someone else to suffer and wanting to alleviate the suffering, can be exhausting.
Alleviating suffering is not a simple task. Sometimes the suffering is due to an ongoing illness, and there is no end to the pain associated with the disease. You may not be able to alleviate someone’s suffering from a traumatic experience, from a loss, or if they are not capable of recognizing their own situation.
Your desire to help alleviate the suffering may not stop at the end of the day. This is especially true if it is someone close to you. You see their suffering day in and day out. The mental and physical fatigue from compassion happens over time.
Suffering is seen daily in communities struck by natural disasters, war, and famine. We see it with the twenty-four-hour news cycle. It may be across the world or in your own backyard. The desire to alleviate the tragedy and suffering may be something you cannot see a way to change.
It can feel overwhelming and consume your life. You may feel hopeless and alone. Your sleep is disturbed, and you become restless. Your body begins to react to the ongoing stress, resulting in stomach issues, high blood pressure, headaches, and physical pain. You become resentful, irritable, and withdrawn. You may seek relief through drugs or alcohol. All symptoms of compassion fatigue.
We don’t often see it in ourselves because we are so caught up in living, going to work, and managing our personal relationships until we ourselves suffer a crisis.
While your situation may not be something that you can just walk away from, there are ways to seek relief. There is help.
Compassion for yourself is essential. Yes, you are suffering; yes, you feel a tremendous amount of sadness, and you have a deep desire to relieve your suffering.
Seek help; it seems simple, but you need support to manage what you are experiencing. There are others who have walked the same path. It helps to know that others have gotten through this, and they can share their experience, strength, and hope.
Take time to breathe, to rest, exercise, and, if you can, take a walk in nature. There is evidence that spending time in nature reduces stress hormones. Eat foods that provide you with nutrients to sustain your body. It may seem overly simple, but these tools work.
Take pride in the work you do; recognize the times you were able to help. Small moments when you witnessed that there was less suffering. Those brief moments when the pain was lifted.
You may never be able to end the cycle of pain and suffering that exists in your personal life, your work, or the world. You may be overcome by compassion fatigue, but it does not mean that you can not move forward. You can continue to have compassion.
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